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how to behave like a lady |
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yoga with kids |
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Simplyher - Share with friends
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| If you think manners are reserved solely for family and friends, think again. As YANNI TAN discovers, etiquette has a huge bearing on the state of your marriage. |
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a long and happy marriage, says acclaimed etiquette author Peter Post in Essential Manners for Couples (Collins, 2005), is not therapy sessions or medication, but a few simple words or actions – what he calls couple etiquette.
Post, the great-grandson of legendary American etiquette consultant Emily Post, says etiquette is not about living by a set of artifi cial rules. “It’s about enhancing your relationship by ensuring you always treat each other with consideration, respect and honesty; encouraging you to think before you act, improving your couple communication, and helping you consistently choose the thoughtful word or action that resolves a situation by building up your relationship, rather than tearing it down.”
From snoring and disciplining children, to intimacy and handling your spouse’s friendships, here are some of Post’s best tips to deal with the daily issues couples face. |
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In regular Emily Post Institute surveys, an overwhelming number of couples said uttering these words frequently was a key element in their relationship. Here’s where you can sneak in the phrase – or its non-verbal equivalent.
> Before you leave for work.
> When you make a quick call to your spouse at work.
> Before you hang up after a phone call.
> Whenever your spouse does something nice, like help you with your bags.
> Winking or mouthing the words to him across a crowded room at a social event.
> Writing a note with a loving message and leaving it for him to find.
> Looking deeply into his eyes and smiling.
> Giving him a long, complimenting glance.
> Squeezing his hand or stroking his arm when he’s driving or performing a task.
> Reaching out to hold his hand before he reaches for yours. |
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| “Etiquette is about always treating each other with consideration, respect and honesty.” |
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Kisses don’t just express desire, but are also signs of affection and affirmations of love. Do it daily, and vary the types of kisses to convey different messages.
> Good morning/night kiss:When you’ve just woken up or before you go to bed.
> Surreptitious kiss: Blowing a kiss or pouting your lips at him in a public place.
> Forehead kiss: When you pass each other or to say goodbye.
> Quick kiss: A peck that says: “It’s so fun to be with you” or “I’m so happy.”
> Big, loud kiss: To show how much you adore him or to thank him for something he did.
> After-glow kiss: A soft, barelythere brush of your lips on his chin or neck in appreciation for a night of passion/romance. |
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Your bedroom is your private space, an inner sanctum where you unwind, reconnect and rest. It’s as much your bedroom as it is his, so respecting each other’s need for undisturbed rest is paramount. Here are ways to deal with some common problems.
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Snoring: He isn’t snoring because he wants to, so don’t pick a fight. Agree to nudge him gently or slap his arm the next time he does it so he won’t be surprised when you do it. If his (or your) snoring inspires a frustrated tirade, it’s time to see a Ear, Nose and Throat specialist. |
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Stealing bed covers: Why suffer in silence? Buy larger-sized comforters or blankets, such as a king-sized one for your queen bed, or even individual ones. |
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Watching television or working on your laptop. Having the TV or reading light on at bedtime disturbs the sleep of the one who dozes off first. Banish the TV set and laptop from the bedroom, buy wireless headphones and use a booklight if you have to read. |
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