You don’t need a Prince Charming, kids or a lot of money for your marriage to last. These three women show that it’s up to you to bring your fairytale to life.
As a young girl, you probably had an idealised vision of how your life would turn out – a debonair husband, two gorgeous children and a golden retriever romping around the backyard. But some 20 years down the road and that happily ever after you envisioned hasn’t quite materialised.
It makes you wonder how the older generation did it; how they stuck by each other till death do us part. What’s worse, the rising divorce rates make it hard to believe in the notion of happily ever after. A lifetime together just seems like a very long time. Whether it’s the rising cost of living, gender equality, women becoming more fi nancially independent or a combination of all those reasons and more, it’s clear that marriages have seen a paradigm shift in the last 30 years.
While today’s happily ever after is no longer the same as that of our parents’ generation, does that necessarily mean that marriages today can’t enjoy longevity and happiness? Not according to the three married couples we spoke to, who show us how it is possible to achieve happily ever after, conventional or otherwise.
“OUR MARRIAGE IS GREAT DESPITE THE FACT THAT IT'S SEXLESS”
Lisa*, 32, a brand manager, has been married to Ben*, 35, a lawyer, for seven years.
How my happily ever after turned out “Magazines often tell you that a couple needs to have sex often for their marriage to be healthy, which isn’t true in reality. My opinion of how much sex a married couple’s life should have has changed since I got married seven years ago. A couple can lead a very happy and fulfilling married life without much sex.”
“We only have sex once every two to three months because we don’t have time. We have talked about our lack of sex and tried to do it more often, but it’s just not very important to us.
“I think couples need to realise that they can’t have it all. It’s in our culture to work long hours, so although you have less time together, it makes you better appreciate the time that you have together.
“For us, sex is just another activity; it’s not a priority. We have more of a spiritual connection, rather than a physical one. We would rather go out for a late movie or take a dip in the pool when we have time. Doing things together as a couple is good enough.”
“We are both very ambitious, so when he works late, it allows me to do the same. Career is very important to young couples. The better you do in your career, the more money you have for your home and holidays. And it’s important to not argue over money; the best way to do that is to have more money so you don’t have to worry about bills, which can be a major source of marital arguments.
“Being realistic about your expectations is important to the success of a marriage. We don’t expect anything from each other because such expectations can ruin a marriage.”
“Despite our lack of physical intimacy, I think our bond is strong and I would throw myself in front of a bus for him.”
