beat foot-in-mouth syndrome   Kids can say the darnedest things and get away with it, but not you. JUSTINA TAN shows you clever ways to rebound from some common social gaffes.     1. YOU ASK IF SHE’S PREGNANT THE SITUATION Uh-oh, and she’s not. Deborah Torres Patel, a leading voice, speech and presentation coach, and creator of Expressing You!, a communication skills course, recalls: “Someone asked if I was having another baby at a business function last year. I was just wearing a loose-fitting Punjabi pantsuit. So I replied: ‘No, I’m not pregnant. Do I look fat to you?’” REMOVE YOUR FOOT! There is no good way to worm yourself out of this, so apologise immediately – and make it heartfelt and sincere, says Deborah. You could say: “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. Please accept my humblest apology.” Alternatively, say: “I was mistaken because your outfit looks big on you. I’m so sorry about it.” Since you’ve virtually called her fat, do not attempt to laugh it off, if you don’t want to come across as rude or insensitive. Excuse yourself after your apology if you can, so the other party doesn’t feel uncomfortable in your presence. LESSON LEARNT Never ask a woman if she’s pregnant, unless you see an obvious baby bump. When in doubt, check with a close friend, colleague or family member, advises Deborah.   2. YOU GUESS SOMEONE’S AGE WRONGLY THE SITUATION Literally guessing someone’s age wrongly, or mistaking an older man’s trophy wife for his daughter, or worse, mistaking an older man’s daughter as his trophy wife. Teo Ser Lee, founder and director of Protocol Academy, an etiquette training agency, once witnessed an incident. “At a dinner party, someone said to one of the guests: ‘Oh, nice of you to bring your son along!’, to which she replied: ‘He’s my husband.’” REMOVE YOUR FOOT! Age is a sensitive topic, so try not to make a big deal of it by apologising profusely. Turn it into a compliment by saying: “You carry yourself with such sophistication, I was mistaken.” Alternatively, inject humour into the situation and draw others’ attention to yourself or the subject’s spouse instead. Try: “Have I mentioned that I desperately need to get my eyes checked?” or “Your spouse is so youthful and good-looking. You’ve got great taste!” LESSON LEARNT Never assume. If you’re put in the awkward situation of having to guess someone’s age, err on the side of caution by shaving at least five years off your estimate – for both men and women. If you want to find out the identity of your guest’s partner, just smile and say politely: “Hi, thank you for coming. And who is this lady/gentleman with you?”

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